windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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