we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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