grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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