I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize