you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Randomize
