who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
