Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize