i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
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