Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Randomize
