why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
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