he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Randomize
