she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
