Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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