R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
