How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
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