To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Randomize
