Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
