So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
