when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Enjoy the penises
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
