carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Randomize
