I will die if light touches me.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
i now understand why vodka
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
