it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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