No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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