This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
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