I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
