I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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