so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I know her cup size but not her name....
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
