Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
