I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Randomize
