fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Randomize
