I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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