he told me I talked like a deaf person
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
