No period for spring break; use this wisely.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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