he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
