what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
