yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
