k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
