Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
Randomize
