She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
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