so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
