when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I'm always down for nudity.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize