so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Randomize