So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
