Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize