How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
