I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
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