Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
