their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
