After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Randomize
