She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize