I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Randomize
