ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Randomize
