He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
50% drunk capacity currently
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
