I skipped work to stalk him.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
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