Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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