my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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