I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
