dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
