i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
