dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
