is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
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