Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
